Finally, the wedding from hell is upon me
After two failed attempts to get myself fired, the wedding of B and R is finally upon me.
I curse the day I picked up the phone and accepted a meeting with the whiney bride and her sorry dishrag of a fiance. (Actually, they weren't even formally engaged when they started planning the wedding. Can you say "desperate bride"?)
I assured them that I could create a perfectly nice wedding for 200 guests with their $25,000 budget. Little did I know that their idea of a nice wedding included three different types of live musicians, thousands of dollars worth of flowers and an elaborate buffet. I learned my lesson: From then on, my first question has to do with budget and my second with expectations.
The bride's demand for my time and attention became overwhelming, to the point where I told her in no uncertain terms that her service expectations were incompatible with her financial capabilities. I thought I would get fired, for sure...But it didn't happen. They backed off a little and I was able to continue the planning process.
About a month before the wedding, as I was trying desperately to patch holes THEY had created, my assistant informs me that B is INCENSED because I hadn't returned her call. She's threatening bloody murder, so I send her an e-mail explaining what I'm trying to do to fix the problems that she and her family have created. I tell her that if she "has had it with me", as her e-mail so boldly exclaims, I would be delighted to discontinue work on her wedding. I assured her that all vendors would arrive at the time hired, and she could pay them their balances on the day of the event. She could also come by my office to pick up her tons of alcohol and she could deal with the entire wedding herself. If this was not in her weekend plans, then she had to let me and my vendors fix the problems they had caused, and had to stop giving us a hard time. Problem solved, they were sweet as can be from then on.
The mother hates me, but that's ok because I hate her, too. She blames me for everything that goes wrong, from her guests getting lost to the skies threatening rain. If only I had the power to control rain...I would let loose a deluge that would inundate her wedding and reception...
So, tomorrow is W-day, and I start work at 7:30am. I won't be done until at least 10:30pm, if I'm lucky. Ahhhh, nothing like working a 15-hour day for an unappreciative, whiney, spoiled brat and her uppity parents. The joys of wedding planning never cease to amaze me.
I curse the day I picked up the phone and accepted a meeting with the whiney bride and her sorry dishrag of a fiance. (Actually, they weren't even formally engaged when they started planning the wedding. Can you say "desperate bride"?)
I assured them that I could create a perfectly nice wedding for 200 guests with their $25,000 budget. Little did I know that their idea of a nice wedding included three different types of live musicians, thousands of dollars worth of flowers and an elaborate buffet. I learned my lesson: From then on, my first question has to do with budget and my second with expectations.
The bride's demand for my time and attention became overwhelming, to the point where I told her in no uncertain terms that her service expectations were incompatible with her financial capabilities. I thought I would get fired, for sure...But it didn't happen. They backed off a little and I was able to continue the planning process.
About a month before the wedding, as I was trying desperately to patch holes THEY had created, my assistant informs me that B is INCENSED because I hadn't returned her call. She's threatening bloody murder, so I send her an e-mail explaining what I'm trying to do to fix the problems that she and her family have created. I tell her that if she "has had it with me", as her e-mail so boldly exclaims, I would be delighted to discontinue work on her wedding. I assured her that all vendors would arrive at the time hired, and she could pay them their balances on the day of the event. She could also come by my office to pick up her tons of alcohol and she could deal with the entire wedding herself. If this was not in her weekend plans, then she had to let me and my vendors fix the problems they had caused, and had to stop giving us a hard time. Problem solved, they were sweet as can be from then on.
The mother hates me, but that's ok because I hate her, too. She blames me for everything that goes wrong, from her guests getting lost to the skies threatening rain. If only I had the power to control rain...I would let loose a deluge that would inundate her wedding and reception...
So, tomorrow is W-day, and I start work at 7:30am. I won't be done until at least 10:30pm, if I'm lucky. Ahhhh, nothing like working a 15-hour day for an unappreciative, whiney, spoiled brat and her uppity parents. The joys of wedding planning never cease to amaze me.
posted by Baja Babe at 8:55 PM
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