The Bridezilla Syndrome
I dread being asked by women what my line of work is, because almost invariably my reply is greeted with a gush of enthusiasm: “Oh, you’re a wedding planner! You must have the nicest job on the planet! Just imagine, you get to work with people during the happiest period of their lives! You’re so lucky!” While I cringe, their eyes glaze over as they envision wedding gowns of white tulle and crystal tiaras sparkling in the moonlight. Men, meanwhile, usually look at me in silence with the pity reserved for a lost dog standing bewildered on a highway.
While I agree that I have the good fortune of helping couples plan their nuptials, most people don’t realize that far from being the happiest period of a couple’s life, the wedding planning stage is among the most stressful. Upon announcing their engagement, family, friends, co-workers, perfect strangers and the media pile unrealistic expectations on the already frazzled couple, who has just taken the gigantic and overwhelming step of deciding to spend the rest of their lives together. No pressure, right? It’s not surprising, then, that tens of thousands of couples each year decide to elope rather than face the daunting challenges of planning a wedding.
The brave souls (in particular, the bride) who decide to go forth with the planning process suddenly find themselves plunged head-on into a world of products and services they are unfamiliar with, but which they are expected to make decisions about with the equally ignorant advice of two over-zealous mothers, a heavily mortgaged father, seven irritated bridesmaids, and an ever-increasing collection of wedding magazines and books.
The stress of making decisions, coupled with the power of authority that comes from saying the magic words: “I am a bride”, turns thousands of normally serene and well-intentioned young women into “Bridezillas”. This term, which brings to mind a fire-breathing, building-stomping green beast with a white veil and three-quarter length silk gloves, paints a very accurate picture of the behavior some women are capable of if they don’t get their way. Nothing short of perfection is allowed on the big day, according to the glossy magazines that are the playbooks of these demanding brides.
Enter the wedding planner, who plays the role of event coordinator, friend, surrogate mother, four-star general, and psychologist when everyone else has deemed the bride to be one sandwich short of a picnic. Other than neurosurgeons, I don’t know of any profession in which so much emphasis is placed on flawless performance and so much “irreparable damage” is caused to the client if the professional in question makes a mistake. It can take nothing more than a wilting tulip or a tilted cake for a bride to utter those five soul-shattering words: “You ruined my wedding day!”.
Yes, it’s true: Hell hath no fury like a woman determined to have the perfect wedding.
While I agree that I have the good fortune of helping couples plan their nuptials, most people don’t realize that far from being the happiest period of a couple’s life, the wedding planning stage is among the most stressful. Upon announcing their engagement, family, friends, co-workers, perfect strangers and the media pile unrealistic expectations on the already frazzled couple, who has just taken the gigantic and overwhelming step of deciding to spend the rest of their lives together. No pressure, right? It’s not surprising, then, that tens of thousands of couples each year decide to elope rather than face the daunting challenges of planning a wedding.
The brave souls (in particular, the bride) who decide to go forth with the planning process suddenly find themselves plunged head-on into a world of products and services they are unfamiliar with, but which they are expected to make decisions about with the equally ignorant advice of two over-zealous mothers, a heavily mortgaged father, seven irritated bridesmaids, and an ever-increasing collection of wedding magazines and books.
The stress of making decisions, coupled with the power of authority that comes from saying the magic words: “I am a bride”, turns thousands of normally serene and well-intentioned young women into “Bridezillas”. This term, which brings to mind a fire-breathing, building-stomping green beast with a white veil and three-quarter length silk gloves, paints a very accurate picture of the behavior some women are capable of if they don’t get their way. Nothing short of perfection is allowed on the big day, according to the glossy magazines that are the playbooks of these demanding brides.
Enter the wedding planner, who plays the role of event coordinator, friend, surrogate mother, four-star general, and psychologist when everyone else has deemed the bride to be one sandwich short of a picnic. Other than neurosurgeons, I don’t know of any profession in which so much emphasis is placed on flawless performance and so much “irreparable damage” is caused to the client if the professional in question makes a mistake. It can take nothing more than a wilting tulip or a tilted cake for a bride to utter those five soul-shattering words: “You ruined my wedding day!”.
Yes, it’s true: Hell hath no fury like a woman determined to have the perfect wedding.
posted by Baja Babe at 6:15 PM
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