Nerves of steel? More like oatmeal!

I am a nervous wreck and time seems to be playing tricks on me. I've been sitting at my desk for amost an hour, trying to find something useful to do in order to make time go by more quickly. My divorce hearing is in one hour and I am petrified of what they are going to ask.

I will be so relieved when I am in T's arms tonight, far away from all of this. But for now, I sit here and try not to imagine worst-case scenarios. I wonder what the case worker will ask. Will he wonder why we want to get divorced? Will we tell him the truth? Should I say that it's because I can't stand the sight of him, or because there was never any sexual chemistry? Should I mention his frightening temper or his tendency to blame me for any obstacle life put in his way? What about his rudeness to waiters, his habit of lying through his teeth, his conviction that everyone was determined to make his life miserable? Would it be rude to mention that he is unable to procreate and demonstrates no talent or desire to please a woman in bed?

I've chewed my fingers to the bone and still have 13 minutes to kill before I have to leave. I will make sure to have everything packed so that I can go straight from the hearing to T's house. I will need a big, strong hug from him to put this anxiety behind me. He sent me a funny e-mail saying that he was looking forward to dating a single woman. :) I keep forgetting I am still married, and I am thankful that he has the patience and understanding of a saint.