Friday, November 03, 2006

Here comes the bridal rant

monster brideOne of the most neurotic brides I've ever met got married this past July. Although she hired our services to book vendors for her destination wedding, she claimed she couldn't afford our coordination package for the day of the wedding, at a cost of only 3% of her entire wedding budget!

The bride drove us crazy with her ridiculous requests. I believe a total of 86 e-mails were sent back and forth debating the high and low points of buttercream vs. fondant cake. The issue of what color and texture of ribbon would go around said cake also caused the bride many sleepless nights. She demanded orchids on a carnation budget and vacillated for months on the music for her ceremony. We deal with nervous brides every day and are trained to calm them down, but this girl was in need of psychiatric help.

I think my assistant, a patient and motherly figure, summed up our frustration best:
"OK, one more e-mail from this woman and I swear...I'll...I'll...I'll shoot myself!"

We did everything possible to please the bride, and as her wedding day approached and her neurosis reached a fever pitch, I sent her the following message in hopes of giving her a little perspective:

"Jane, one suggestion from a seasoned wedding veteran: Don't sweat the small stuff. The vendors will be on time, your guests will arrive at the location safely and on time, your wedding will be beautiful and a lot of fun...But ONLY if you relax and enjoy your day. Your guests are there to see a happy bride starting a new life with a happy groom. If you fret about the small stuff, you won't be happy and your guests won't have a good time. A positive attitude allows for positive energy, which in turn helps everything to work correctly. This is my advice, I hope it helps."

I heard nothing more from her on the wedding day and knew that all my vendors had arrived on time and had done their job as requested. Three months later, I contacted her to inform her that her video was ready, and she let me know that the classical ensemble played "Here Comes the Bride" as she walked down the aisle, instead of "Pachabel's Canon" as requested.

If you consider that her wedding took place in a Third-World country, she changed her mind about her ceremony music 25 times, and she had nobody coordinating the vendors on the day of the event, it is a miracle that this is the only thing that went wrong. I always inform my clients that weddings in Mexico are NOT about perfection. They are about unique locations, friendly service, delicious food and fun, fun, fun!! Most couples would look back and remember the great food, the fun atmosphere, the love of their guests...You know, the stuff that really matters at a wedding. Not her!

She sent me the following e-mail:

"In the future, you should let people know that you don't think the ensemble can follow instructions...in order to have the correct song played as I walk down the aisle on the most important day of my life. There is no dollar value that we could have placed on that. It was my wedding day."

OK, news flash to all you brides out there: Your wedding will NOT be perfect. No matter how much money you spend. No matter whom you hire to coordinate the event. No matter how many YEARS you spend planning, and cutting out pictures from magazines, and discussing your wedding in online forums. SHIT HAPPENS.

Ask anybody, rich or poor, and they'll tell you of at least one detail that went wrong on they wedding day.

If it is the most important day of your life, shouldn't you be focusing on the IMPORTANT things, like:
* Telling your groom how much you adore him.
* Thanking your friends for attending your wedding.
* Basking in the joy of family.
* Being thankful for having food, drink, family, friends, and a man who loves you despite your neurosis.

These are the things that you cannot put a price on...Not a thirty-second piece of music that was not only appropriate for the occasion, but which not one of your guests realized was incorrect. If the blessings in your life are opaqued by the wrong song being played as you walk down the aisle, your priorities are all wrong. I feel sorry for her because life has obviously not taught her to be thankful for what she has.

6 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

During my vows, I referred to my self with my bride's name. No amount of money could have avoided that. Can't blame the vendors either. I agree that it sounds like the poor woman needs a little perspective in her life. She'll get it.

Ten years from now she won't think of that day as the day you screwed up the music any more than she'll remember it as the most important day of her life.

5:27 PM  
Blogger planner17 said...

2x4 - I figure life will put her in her place sooner or later. EVERY DAY is the most important day of you life, wouldn't you agree???

8:07 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Ohmigod you guys! That is nuts. I can't HANDLE that. I have worked with many a neurotic client in my day, but this takes the cake. To put my marriage ranting in place, I have to assure you that I just really want to look around and see my family and friends with smiles on their faces, preferrably not in a rec centre or legion hall and I'm laughin. The most important day, as far as I'm concerned, was the one when he walked into my life and that could never have been planned or orchestrated.

8:18 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

P.S. keep these stories coming, they're the best. They make me feel so SANE!

8:19 PM  
Blogger jaymichaelrivera said...

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek. That poor, poor husband. Or maybe he's just as bad.

How do you keep from strangling these people?

6:55 PM  
Blogger planner17 said...

THANK YOU, everyone...Sometimes I feel like I'm overly sensitive when these clients start with their ridiculous demands. It's just been building to the point where I'm afraid to think what they'll ask for next! Good to know you see things from my perspective. :)

10:34 PM  

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